For the mom who may have lost part of herself

This is for the mamas who use to have a career, a place where you were making a difference, using your degree, reaching the world with your passion, the ones who had dreams of being someone, traveling the world, taking that job.

Now you are knee deep in diaper changes, runny noses, the hungry caterpillar, peanut butter and jelly sandwiches and skinned knees. The person you once were, before these babies came along seems a distant past. You walk through your days wondering when each began, because each day seems to blur together, like a never ending movie that you can't stop watching.

When you pictured motherhood you didn't know it would feel like losing a part of who you were. And you feel guilty for feeling that way, because what you have is so good and you have gained so much. You have something that some women only dream about. It is not just good, but wonderful and beautiful and messy all at once.

But in the beautiful mess of motherhood, somewhere along the way, you lost something in yourself and you are wondering when you will get it back. You are wondering when this never ending season will end. And you aren't sure when you come out on the other end if you will still be there. The same woman who walked into this journey.

I don't know, because I am still there with you. But I have a feeling the same women won't be there, but that is okay. Because part of her still is there, the good part, the beautiful parts, but there will be new parts of yourself that are even more beautiful and lovely. At least that is what I hope.

Dear mom about to go back to work,

I remember when Millie was born dreading each passing week, because each passing week meant I was one week closer to having to go back to work. Going back to work was one of the hardest things I have ever had to do in my life, but honestly, it was also a really good thing.

As you look forward with either excitement or trepidation to your first day back remember (or if you have just recently returned) take comfort in the fact that you are doing the right thing for your family right now. You are helping to put food on the table, you are showing your children that what you do matters too, you are making a choice that is okay and good for you right now. Maybe you love work, maybe you don't, but there is a reason you are there right now. There has to be, or you wouldn't be there.

Each day as you trust your child's life with another person, whether it is family or a big day care, know that they are still loved, God is still watching them, you are still their mama.

Take comfort in the fact that the first few days will likely be easer than you imagined. Don't be ashamed if you enjoy the time away from your little one, it is okay to feel that way. Don't let others make you feel like you are doing anything wrong. No matter how well intentioned it is, don't listen to the critics of your story. You are doing what you are doing for a reason, whether it is because of a deep passion for your job, a need to have a break or to put food on the table and a roof over your heads. Those are honorable too.

Dear mom of littles {It's their day too}

Earlier this week I came across this on Pinterest, the caption reads "it's their day too." (I encourage you to check out the blog the link brings you to). Boy, did that stop me in my tracks. When things are going my way because my littles keep getting in my way, I need to remember this.

 It is their day too. 

How the day turns out matters to them also, not just me. Sometimes I am so worried about myself that all I care about is whether or not I had a good day. I need to remember that it is just as important that they have a good day too. 

I encourage you to remember this as you move through your day today. Remember when you start to get frustrated, that it is their day too. Their opinion does matter, their little lives do matter, their little memories are storing up these days. 

Dear mom of littles {I know who you are}

I know who you are. 

The mamas who stay awake in the night worrying about their littles, wanting to go check on them while they sleep, or lying in bed listening to the breathing of your husband. 

The mamas with a newborn who haven't had more than 3 hour stretches of sleep in a while, and still get up every morning because your older kid/s need you too. 

The mamas who just sent their kids off to school for the first or the 10th time and the mamas who just went back to school themselves (either to teach or to learn) and hate that they are missing out on all of those little moments you shared this summer. 

The mamas who dread the 5:00 hour, because everything always breaks down, and it is the one hour you are expected to get something done (food on the table). 

The mamas who let their kids watch several hours of T.V. because you just couldn't entertain them any more and it either too hot, too cold or too rainy to go outside. 

The mamas who can't find the words to answer one more 'why' or 'what's that' question from their little ones. 

The mamas who need just one conversation with an adult today. 

You are the ones who make your littles' days golden. You are the ones who light up their eyes and speak to their hearts. You are the ones who pray for them and offer hugs when they are having a bad day. You are the ones who are at ground zero when all breaks loose. 

Dear mama in need of grace and a fresh start

I will be honest. I did not wake up with a grateful spirit today. I didn't wake up with patience and grace, I woke up with impatience and frustration. 

I wanted to sleep until 7, but my toddler got up at 6:20. 

I wanted my baby to sleep during breakfast, so I could eat a real meal sitting down, but she woke up when I left her side and wanted to nurse right away. 

I wanted a quiet morning of play time with trains and bubbles, while I sat on the couch and drank my coffee; I got whining and 'mommy please' all morning. 

I wanted a nice walk outside, but the double stroller is in my husbands car and my toddler whined until I picked her up, so we went in early. 

I wanted a lot, and in the meantime, I forgot about what they wanted and needed. 

To be honest, I ended up sticking my toddler in front of her favorite movie (Tinker Bell) and did a little cleaning so I could relax some during nap time. After I got M down, I was rocking E to sleep and singing her songs while I prayed for both my children. 

It is amazing how prayer can change your heart. Now I realize that we all need a fresh start after nap time and I need to say sorry to my toddler for being harsh with my words this morning. 

I hope your day is shaping up better than mine, but if it isn't I hope you find grace and a change of heart. I hope you find the energy to start again and to say you are sorry. I hope you find at least one quiet moment when you can pray for your littles and see how God speaks to you in those moments. 

Dear mom of a toddler

Toddlers are the sweetest one minute and then little terrors the next. Whether it is biting, hitting, whining, screaming, crying, etc, toddlers can be tough. Yesterday my toddler got upset because she couldn't have the air vent that is attached to our ceiling, full out crying over this! Then the rest of the day she kept pointing to it saying 'What's that, I wanted it.' But you know as well as I do, there is no consoling an irrational toddler. They want what they want, and there is no stopping them. So next time your toddler breaks down over something that does't make any sense, remember two things. 1. We were all toddlers once and we all grow out of it and 2. take a deep breath and make a mental note, maybe later you will find it funny (or maybe you won't in which case take a deep breath and try to forget about it). 

Love,
the mom scratching her head over her toddler's latest tantrum

Dear mom of littles {on things we don't do}

In this social media world we live in, we are always faced with all of the things other moms are doing. Their homemade dinners, organic gardens, cloth diapers, beautiful homemade decorations in the nursery, the list could go on and on. Some of us do some of these things, because they are important to us, or because we are good at them. And that is okay, in fact it is great! Be who you are. But too often we worry about all of those things we aren't doing. The list of things we feel like we should do, because surely they would make us a better mom and definitely they would make our kids more well rounded and wonderful, right? But the truth is nothing has the power to do that (aside from Jesus himself), and even the most wonderful things aren't always life giving if they stress us and take time away from who we really are.

So today I want you to make a list of things that you don't do, things that you maybe wish you did, but don't. Not bad things, but good things you don't do (see my list below for ideas). As you make your list, make peace with the fact that these are things that are okay for you not to be doing now (and maybe forever). Some of them may be things you do someday, but not in this season, and others may be things you never plan to do, but sometimes wish you did. It is surprisingly freeing to make the list. I keep adding to mine (it has over 15 now!)

I got this idea from the balanced life, a blog I recently started following for the #mindbodymat challenge (a 21 day challenge to work on your mind and body). If you are looking for a quick daily work out to get you started on being healthier, check it out!

I will share with you some of my don'ts below.

I don't 

1. Cook from scratch every day (or really ever) 

2. Count calories or diet 

3. Use cloth diapers all the time (we often use disposable if it is more convenient, and with Elise I rarely use them) 

4. Wake up before my kids ever 

5. Wear (or even own) heals, Wear makeup regularly or put jewelry on regularly

6. Feed my kids organic everything 

7. Plan extravagant themed birthday parties

8. Clean the windows in the house regularly 

9. Worry about the fact that my almost 2 year old still uses a binky (pacifier) 

What are some things you don't do?

P.S. I added a little place to subscribe by email if you are interested, I may also figure out some other ways for you to easily follow when I have the time.

Dear mom of littles

When you feel exhausted and close to tears, when you feel like you haven't sat down for a meal without constant whining from your kids in days, when you are sure that one more whine fest form your toddler or one more cry from your baby will make you snap, when you aren't sure the last time your truly had an hour of uninterrupted peace, hold onto these words...

So let us come boldly to the throne of our gracious God. There we will receive his mercy, and we will find grace to help when we need it most. Hebrews 4:16

Dear mom of littles

I can't be the only one shoving food in my mouth while my toddler isn't looking. Now that she knows the sound of a bag or package opening, I can't just hide, I also have to distract her with something loud so she doesn't hear me. I can't help that I am hungry, but I don't want her to just snack all day (like her mommy) or she won't eat lunch or dinner. I am sorry to say I haven't found a solution to this problem. Maybe you have?! If so, let me know.

Sincerely, 

A fellow hungry mommy

Dear mom of littles: grace upon grace

May this week be filled with grace upon grace. May you find comfort in the little successes and grace in the failures. Remember that God not only makes us new each day but each moment. So if you feel like they day is full of failure, start again. Ask your kids if it is okay if you start over, ask God for a fresh outlook and ask yourself for forgiveness. Don't worry about making the right choices as a parent for the whole week or even the whole day. Just worry about making the right choice for the next moment. 

Sincerely, 

a mom covered in grace 

Dear mom of littles (sorry on vacation)

Pathetic, I know, after only 5 posts, my blog is already on summer vacation. I am pretty sure if this was a real job, I would not have any vacation days yet, but it's not, so I decided to take a little break. We went to the beach for a week and are now headed off to visit with my husband's family (sans husband, boo). So when I return I will continue to write you letters.

In the meantime, remember to give yourself grace, and though we don't get vacation days as moms, remember to take time to care for yourself, a hot shower, painted toenails, coffee, lots of water infused with yummy fruit, a run, whatever makes you happy, take a few minutes to do that each day.

Sincerely,
The 'vacationing' mom (we all know there is no such thing-- see this article about a Beach Vacation for moms)

Dear mom of littles (3)

Who hasn't had a meal alone in forever and and just shoved the cut off crust of the peanut butter and jelly sandwich in your mouth and called it lunch.  I know they say we will miss these days, and we probably will.  But here is what I say, next time someone says "you will miss these days" ask them to watch your kids for a few hours while you get a pedicure, so you can test out their advice. 

Love, 

the fellow hungry mama. 

Dear mom of littles (2)

Whose kid(s) just woke up from nap time early again.  You may be exhausted, you may be frustrated and you may be out of ideas to entertain your littles for the day, but remember they aren't interrupting your day, they are your day.  It is possible the rest of the day will be filled with tears (from both you and the littles) due to a lack of sleep.  Embrace the moment.  Put on a show and don't feel guilty, or take them outside and let them play in the dirt.  Whatever you do to get through the extra hour (or two) is OK.  Give yourself a little extra grace and don't worry about who is judging you.

Love, 

a fellow overtired mama

What do you do to get through the days when naptime is cut short? 

Dear mom of littles

Who just got back from the store with your daughters hair clip in your hair holding back your bangs at an insane angle. You rock it mama. Don't worry about the stares you got from the store clerk, they probably just wanted to know where you got the awesome hair clip. I am sure it had nothing to do with the way your bangs are sticking straight up in the air. At least you made it to the store. Slap on some more mascara and you will feel better.

Love, 

the mom with the extra wavy bangs 

What is your favorite beauty trick?
Mine is mascara (and washing my face), slap on some mascara and I feel a little more human, no matter how crazy my hair looks. 

Dear mom of a newborn

Know that though it feels insanely hard and lonely and like you are the only mom in the world who is having a hard time with the whole newborn thing, most moms face the first few weeks with the same feeling of loneliness. We just feel like we can't talk about it because after all, we are blessed with this little life who is precious and cute and lovely.

But the truth is, we all feel alone and isolate and in our weakest moments we even struggle to see the blessing of the little life. I think it is because we love them so deeply already and almost feel unfaithful to our babies if we are honest about how hard it is, like it may see like we aren't grateful for this gift of new life. And to make it even more isolating, everyone is commenting on how wonderful babies are and how sweet these early weeks are and how fast they grow up and you feel judged for not really feeling the same way. You worry that all the other moms have their babies on a perfect schedule and are making great steps towards getting them to sleep through the night, when you are just bumbling around sleepy and likely crying wondering how everyone else is doing it. Here is the secret though, we pretty much all feel the same way. We are just waiting for someone else to speak up so we can say "yes us too." Be that mom today.

Hang in there and know you aren't alone. It does get easier, but honestly not nearly fast enough because it is right now that you need the rest. But the good thing is God uses these days to remind us how much we need him.

Love,
A fellow weary mom

If you could say only one thing to a mom of a newborn, what would you say?

Welcome

Hi friends! Welcome to my new blog. I have thought long about blogging since becoming a mom. I have left and returned to my old blog multiple times in the past 2 years and decided that I will eventually shut it down (first I want to make a blog book out of it though). Though I feel at peace about shutting down my old blog, I didn't feel at peace about leaving the blogging world all together. 

So after much thought and prayer, this blog was born. Dear mom of littles is for moms who need a little encouragement each day, who need to feel like they aren't alone in their journey, no matter how easy or difficult that day is. It is for all moms, no matter if you work outside the home, in the home or make raising kids your only full time job. The idea came from a letter (okay a Facebook message) I sent to a dear friend who just recently had her first baby. She reached out on Facebook for encouragement and I wrote her a note, which was meant to make her feel less alone in her new adventure. 

My posts will mostly be written in letter format, and I will keep them pretty short. Maybe a sentence some days other days a paragraph or two. I know the world of blogging is changing, and it almost seems silly to launch a blog when it feels like the blogging art is dying. But my hope is that even if this blog only finds one mom every day who reads these letters and finds them encouraging, then it is worth it in the end.