For the mom who may have lost part of herself

This is for the mamas who use to have a career, a place where you were making a difference, using your degree, reaching the world with your passion, the ones who had dreams of being someone, traveling the world, taking that job.

Now you are knee deep in diaper changes, runny noses, the hungry caterpillar, peanut butter and jelly sandwiches and skinned knees. The person you once were, before these babies came along seems a distant past. You walk through your days wondering when each began, because each day seems to blur together, like a never ending movie that you can't stop watching.

When you pictured motherhood you didn't know it would feel like losing a part of who you were. And you feel guilty for feeling that way, because what you have is so good and you have gained so much. You have something that some women only dream about. It is not just good, but wonderful and beautiful and messy all at once.

But in the beautiful mess of motherhood, somewhere along the way, you lost something in yourself and you are wondering when you will get it back. You are wondering when this never ending season will end. And you aren't sure when you come out on the other end if you will still be there. The same woman who walked into this journey.

I don't know, because I am still there with you. But I have a feeling the same women won't be there, but that is okay. Because part of her still is there, the good part, the beautiful parts, but there will be new parts of yourself that are even more beautiful and lovely. At least that is what I hope.

Dear mom about to go back to work,

I remember when Millie was born dreading each passing week, because each passing week meant I was one week closer to having to go back to work. Going back to work was one of the hardest things I have ever had to do in my life, but honestly, it was also a really good thing.

As you look forward with either excitement or trepidation to your first day back remember (or if you have just recently returned) take comfort in the fact that you are doing the right thing for your family right now. You are helping to put food on the table, you are showing your children that what you do matters too, you are making a choice that is okay and good for you right now. Maybe you love work, maybe you don't, but there is a reason you are there right now. There has to be, or you wouldn't be there.

Each day as you trust your child's life with another person, whether it is family or a big day care, know that they are still loved, God is still watching them, you are still their mama.

Take comfort in the fact that the first few days will likely be easer than you imagined. Don't be ashamed if you enjoy the time away from your little one, it is okay to feel that way. Don't let others make you feel like you are doing anything wrong. No matter how well intentioned it is, don't listen to the critics of your story. You are doing what you are doing for a reason, whether it is because of a deep passion for your job, a need to have a break or to put food on the table and a roof over your heads. Those are honorable too.

Dear mom of littles {It's their day too}

Earlier this week I came across this on Pinterest, the caption reads "it's their day too." (I encourage you to check out the blog the link brings you to). Boy, did that stop me in my tracks. When things are going my way because my littles keep getting in my way, I need to remember this.

 It is their day too. 

How the day turns out matters to them also, not just me. Sometimes I am so worried about myself that all I care about is whether or not I had a good day. I need to remember that it is just as important that they have a good day too. 

I encourage you to remember this as you move through your day today. Remember when you start to get frustrated, that it is their day too. Their opinion does matter, their little lives do matter, their little memories are storing up these days. 

Dear mom of littles {I know who you are}

I know who you are. 

The mamas who stay awake in the night worrying about their littles, wanting to go check on them while they sleep, or lying in bed listening to the breathing of your husband. 

The mamas with a newborn who haven't had more than 3 hour stretches of sleep in a while, and still get up every morning because your older kid/s need you too. 

The mamas who just sent their kids off to school for the first or the 10th time and the mamas who just went back to school themselves (either to teach or to learn) and hate that they are missing out on all of those little moments you shared this summer. 

The mamas who dread the 5:00 hour, because everything always breaks down, and it is the one hour you are expected to get something done (food on the table). 

The mamas who let their kids watch several hours of T.V. because you just couldn't entertain them any more and it either too hot, too cold or too rainy to go outside. 

The mamas who can't find the words to answer one more 'why' or 'what's that' question from their little ones. 

The mamas who need just one conversation with an adult today. 

You are the ones who make your littles' days golden. You are the ones who light up their eyes and speak to their hearts. You are the ones who pray for them and offer hugs when they are having a bad day. You are the ones who are at ground zero when all breaks loose. 

Dear mama in need of grace and a fresh start

I will be honest. I did not wake up with a grateful spirit today. I didn't wake up with patience and grace, I woke up with impatience and frustration. 

I wanted to sleep until 7, but my toddler got up at 6:20. 

I wanted my baby to sleep during breakfast, so I could eat a real meal sitting down, but she woke up when I left her side and wanted to nurse right away. 

I wanted a quiet morning of play time with trains and bubbles, while I sat on the couch and drank my coffee; I got whining and 'mommy please' all morning. 

I wanted a nice walk outside, but the double stroller is in my husbands car and my toddler whined until I picked her up, so we went in early. 

I wanted a lot, and in the meantime, I forgot about what they wanted and needed. 

To be honest, I ended up sticking my toddler in front of her favorite movie (Tinker Bell) and did a little cleaning so I could relax some during nap time. After I got M down, I was rocking E to sleep and singing her songs while I prayed for both my children. 

It is amazing how prayer can change your heart. Now I realize that we all need a fresh start after nap time and I need to say sorry to my toddler for being harsh with my words this morning. 

I hope your day is shaping up better than mine, but if it isn't I hope you find grace and a change of heart. I hope you find the energy to start again and to say you are sorry. I hope you find at least one quiet moment when you can pray for your littles and see how God speaks to you in those moments. 

Dear mom of a toddler

Toddlers are the sweetest one minute and then little terrors the next. Whether it is biting, hitting, whining, screaming, crying, etc, toddlers can be tough. Yesterday my toddler got upset because she couldn't have the air vent that is attached to our ceiling, full out crying over this! Then the rest of the day she kept pointing to it saying 'What's that, I wanted it.' But you know as well as I do, there is no consoling an irrational toddler. They want what they want, and there is no stopping them. So next time your toddler breaks down over something that does't make any sense, remember two things. 1. We were all toddlers once and we all grow out of it and 2. take a deep breath and make a mental note, maybe later you will find it funny (or maybe you won't in which case take a deep breath and try to forget about it). 

Love,
the mom scratching her head over her toddler's latest tantrum

Dear mom of littles {on things we don't do}

In this social media world we live in, we are always faced with all of the things other moms are doing. Their homemade dinners, organic gardens, cloth diapers, beautiful homemade decorations in the nursery, the list could go on and on. Some of us do some of these things, because they are important to us, or because we are good at them. And that is okay, in fact it is great! Be who you are. But too often we worry about all of those things we aren't doing. The list of things we feel like we should do, because surely they would make us a better mom and definitely they would make our kids more well rounded and wonderful, right? But the truth is nothing has the power to do that (aside from Jesus himself), and even the most wonderful things aren't always life giving if they stress us and take time away from who we really are.

So today I want you to make a list of things that you don't do, things that you maybe wish you did, but don't. Not bad things, but good things you don't do (see my list below for ideas). As you make your list, make peace with the fact that these are things that are okay for you not to be doing now (and maybe forever). Some of them may be things you do someday, but not in this season, and others may be things you never plan to do, but sometimes wish you did. It is surprisingly freeing to make the list. I keep adding to mine (it has over 15 now!)

I got this idea from the balanced life, a blog I recently started following for the #mindbodymat challenge (a 21 day challenge to work on your mind and body). If you are looking for a quick daily work out to get you started on being healthier, check it out!

I will share with you some of my don'ts below.

I don't 

1. Cook from scratch every day (or really ever) 

2. Count calories or diet 

3. Use cloth diapers all the time (we often use disposable if it is more convenient, and with Elise I rarely use them) 

4. Wake up before my kids ever 

5. Wear (or even own) heals, Wear makeup regularly or put jewelry on regularly

6. Feed my kids organic everything 

7. Plan extravagant themed birthday parties

8. Clean the windows in the house regularly 

9. Worry about the fact that my almost 2 year old still uses a binky (pacifier) 

What are some things you don't do?

P.S. I added a little place to subscribe by email if you are interested, I may also figure out some other ways for you to easily follow when I have the time.