This is for the mamas who use to have a career, a place where you were making a difference, using your degree, reaching the world with your passion, the ones who had dreams of being someone, traveling the world, taking that job.
Now you are knee deep in diaper changes, runny noses, the hungry caterpillar, peanut butter and jelly sandwiches and skinned knees. The person you once were, before these babies came along seems a distant past. You walk through your days wondering when each began, because each day seems to blur together, like a never ending movie that you can't stop watching.
When you pictured motherhood you didn't know it would feel like losing a part of who you were. And you feel guilty for feeling that way, because what you have is so good and you have gained so much. You have something that some women only dream about. It is not just good, but wonderful and beautiful and messy all at once.
But in the beautiful mess of motherhood, somewhere along the way, you lost something in yourself and you are wondering when you will get it back. You are wondering when this never ending season will end. And you aren't sure when you come out on the other end if you will still be there. The same woman who walked into this journey.
I don't know, because I am still there with you. But I have a feeling the same women won't be there, but that is okay. Because part of her still is there, the good part, the beautiful parts, but there will be new parts of yourself that are even more beautiful and lovely. At least that is what I hope.
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